Love – It’s Not Just For Valentine’s Day
Word-Of-The-Day: ‘(4) Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. (5) It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. (6) Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. (7) It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.’ (1 Corinthians 13:4-7)
Today is Valentine’s Day, a day where we celebrate our spouses (especially us men celebrating our wives, or for those of the unmarried persuasion, your fiancée), by expressing our love for them through the giving of flowers, candy, cards and perhaps some other token of expression, like jewelry or a stack of pancakes from Perkins or Bob Evans. Obviously, different folks have different strokes of expressing their love, but it is not important how one expresses their love for their spouse or significant other, but that one does express it.
It should also not only be limited to one day a year. Loving your spouse should be a 24/7/365 event, and it should go beyond gift-giving, as a bouquet of flowers will eventually wilt and die, chocolates will get eaten, and cards will be tossed in the trash after a couple of days to make room for the Presidents’ Day cards that come on Monday. There are always holidays or special events that will be coming up that we will be celebrating in some form or fashion, but our love for our spouses need to be recognized every day.
You likely told your loved one ‘Happy Valentine’s Day!’ this morning (a friendly reminder to do so if you haven’t), with a kiss and telling them, ‘I love you’ afterwards. The question is, do you tell your spouse you love them every day, if not in words by actions? Do you support them, in spite of their shortcomings, real or perceived?
If you feel that the love is gone in your relationship, think again! The love is there, but only dormant. When I give advice to those who are having marital woes, the first thing I ask of them to do is to remember why they married their spouses in the first place. What was the attraction and what was the emotions they had when they were first married, when they went to the altar or the courthouse to become ‘one’.
Most respond that they joined in matrimony (Holy or legal) out of love. There may be some that may have done so for money, prestige, or to gain a ‘trophy husband/wife’; but for the majority it was love. For my lovely wife and I, being young and me getting ready to go into the Army on a very cold January evening meant no money and no prestige, so it had to be love – and it must still be love, as there is still no prestige and now enough money to be comfortable but not enriched, except in the Spirit of the Lord.
Love is of course a gift from God, and matrimony goes all the way back to Genesis 2:18-25, when God made Adam a ‘suitable helper’ in Eve; a companion that together would help each other, and later, after they ate the forbidden fruit, endured the trials and tribulations of life together. They had children and raised them together, likely worked together in the fields and, due to their differences in physical stature, did different tasks that combined made a home for each other. It was out of the love that they had for each other, a love that was provided to them by God.
If you are unmarried and unhitched, don’t be down – your spouse, and the spouse of all who are Children of God, is Jesus! The Church, the entire body of Believers who have accepted Jesus as Savior and Lord, is the bride of Jesus as described by the Apostle Paul (2 Corinthians 11:2). Thus, even if you are ‘alone’, you really aren’t. It is also important to note that you are also attached to the other members of the Church through your Faith, and to be a body we must love each other, so now that I, and all of those who you fellowship with, love you very much!
1 Corinthians 13 defines what love is, and what it isn’t. Doing good is not love, if it is done for self-satisfaction or for bragging rights. Love is not ‘putting people in their place’ for the sake of putting them down. In our family relationships, we all have that ‘cousin Eddie’ (think ‘Christmas Vacation’ and Randy Quaid), that one person who just doesn’t quite understand all of the nuances of proper decorum or behavior. They may always be wanting handouts or to borrow items (without returning them in a timely fashion, if at all). Their opinions are not what we consider ‘normal’, and they may be someone who we react to as one reacts to fingernails on a chalkboard…
But as 1 Corinthians 13 states, we are to love them. This does not mean we just roll over, say OK, and agree with what they say and bankroll them; we should instead help them in love as Jesus loves us. As Jesus does, the help we provide them should be based on need, based on Truth, and should not be based on what we would get out of it. Sometimes love is to tell someone they are wrong, but it should come from a position of love and giving constructive criticism, not a position of ‘that’ll teach ‘em a lesson’. Sometimes love is to give up what you have but do not need and give it to someone who needs it but does not have it – regardless of value or purpose.
You don’t have to always hang out with them or approve of their actions. When you see them, provide them love and respect, give them your time and talk to them. When you start getting the chalkboard reaction, close down the conversation and move on, but find out if they need prayer or have some other need. You can ask others to help out, without mentioning their name.
Most importantly, remember you are a reflection of Jesus, and Jesus is unconditional love – Jesus likely met some folks who were difficult to love on, but still He took time to love upon them, especially when He went to the cross to die for their sins. If Jesus can do that, what should you do as His reflection? Remember, Jesus’ Ultimate Commandment is ‘Love God’, then ‘Love Yourself’, so you can then ‘Love Others’, especially ‘Love Your Spouse’. No cards, no flowers, no pancakes? No worries, you can give them the biggest gift – God’s Love.
