‘Insurmountable’ obstacles become small
Our passage from this morning makes it clear that divorce is not part of the plan or design of God, ever. Yet the hardness of man’s heart due to sin (which is manifest in a multitude of ways) causes broken relationships, broken vows and ultimately divorce from the one to whom a covenant was made until death. I am not unaware that it takes two to make a good marriage, and it can happen that one can cause a divorce on their own. In our culture today, divorce can be forced on those who are willing to work, trust and forgive.
I want to speak to those who are struggling to stay in the fight for a marriage — who have decided that it is no longer worth it. I read the following story long ago and would like to share it with you.
Newspaper columnist and minister George Crane tells of a wife who came into his office full of hatred toward her husband. “I do not only want to get rid of him, I want to get even. Before I divorce him, I want to hurt him as much as he has me.” Dr. Crane suggested an ingenious plan: “Go home and act as if you really love your husband. Tell him how much he means to you. Praise him for every decent trait. Go out of your way to be as kind, considerate, and generous as possible. Spare no efforts to please him, to enjoy him. Make him believe you love him. After you’ve convinced him of your undying love and that you cannot live without him, then drop the bomb. Tell him that you’re getting a divorce. That will really hurt him.”
With revenge in her eyes, she smiled and exclaimed, “Beautiful, beautiful. Will he ever be surprised!” And she did it with enthusiasm., acting “as if.” For two months she showed love, kindness, listening, giving, reinforcing, sharing. When she didn’t return, Crane called. “Are you ready now to go through with the divorce?” “Divorce?” she exclaimed. “Never! I discovered I really do love him.” Her actions had changed her feelings. Motion resulted in emotion. The ability to love is established not so much by fervent promise as often repeated deeds.
When the heart is changed, transformed to relate as God desires, the obstacles that once looked insurmountable become small. This lady opened her heart to the design and plan of God and it changed her and her marriage. Acting “as if” with an open heart will lead to God honoring relationships.
Pressing on…
Ron Tipton, Senior Pastor
