Learn Lessons The Easy Way, Or The Hard Way

Word-Of-The-Day: ‘Listen, my sons, to a father’s instruction; pay attention and gain understanding.’ (Proverbs 4:1)

At some point in all of our lives, we make immediate assumptions that persuade us to act without thought on the ramifications that come later.  ‘It seemed like a good idea at the time’ is a common phrase we all utter, usually as our ‘good idea’ becomes a cluttered mess.  In my younger days, my Dad would often tell me, ‘You can either listen and do it the easy way, or go ahead and do it the hard way.’

As with many young men, likely as far back as when Adam gave Cain and Abel instructions, I only partly listened to my father’s advice if it seemed sensible – at least as sensible as a teenager could comprehend.  Those lessons were learned the ‘easy way’; I paid attention to the instructions my father gave me, I did as I was told, and with some rare exceptions (Dad was not always perfect in his ideas or execution of them) things worked out well.

However, there were those times when Dad gave advice, and the phase that ran through my mind (but never said out loud, for obvious reasons) was ‘You don’t know what you’re talking about, old man!’, which led to me paraphrasing another of Dad’s favorite sayings to my Mom, much to her chagrin and displeasure; ‘I don’t care if Dad don’t allow, I’m gonna do it anyhow.’ 

This is where I seemed to initially have the most fun at first, followed by either an injury or some form of punishment for getting caught in doing something I shouldn’t have done.  ‘Don’t tease the dog when he’s eating.’  Well, I learned the hard way that if you tease a dog while it’s eating, it may bite you in order for you to stop.  This is a lesson I learned the ‘hard way’.  There are many other lessons learned the hard way that were more painful (‘don’t try to be Evel Knievel on your dirt bike’ – yep, that lesson was quite painful, though without any debilitating injuries incurred.)

Now that I’m officially a senior citizen, and my Dad has long passed, I realize I am still in the process of learning things ‘the easy way’ versus ‘the hard way’, though fortunately Wisdom gained is using ‘the easy way’, with great discretion and forethought.  It is still a question of listening to our Father’s instructions; not our earthly fathers but our Lord’s instructions, given to us through the Bible.  Unlike our Dads, our God is perfect and His instructions are perfect.  What He wants for us is to be obedient to Him.  When does it seem like He isn’t blessing us?  When we stop following His instructions, then He allows us to learn things ‘the hard way’.

Think of Jonah; God told him to go to Ninevah.  Jonah likely thought (but did not say out loud), ‘You don’t know what your talking about!’, and headed in the opposite direction.  It took Jonah a nauseating journey on a ship where he was tossed overboard in a raging sea, then swallowed by a big fish to be spit up three days later on the shores of Israel to learn ‘the hard way’ to listen to God.  Israel often learned similar lessons the same way; they heard the Word, they ignored the Word, then they pleaded to the Lord when they realized they made a terrible mistake.

This Proverb is in the context of a young man heeding his father’s words and learning from his father.  However, we can apply the second half of this verse (‘Pay attention and gain understanding’) to our process of growing in understanding to gain wisdom.  My long-time motto, ‘BE PREPARED, BE AWARE, PLAN ACCORDINGLY’ fits right into this part of the verse.  We have to see what is going on around us (Labor Day is a couple of months away), analyze and through prayer discern all possible ramifications (the likelihood your drunken cousin Fred is coming to visit), and through prayer and God’s wisdom determine the best course of action to take (turn off the lights, don’t answer the door and eat canned tuna in your closet) (welcome Fred in, and ask him to join you for your backyard BBQ, and pray with him and for him).

The biggest danger is of course our biases in each event.  We sometimes predetermine ‘facts’ without gathering up all the knowledge necessary to make an educated analysis of a situation to make a valid decision.  You may find cousin Fred has stopped drinking and is wanting to go to church, and this would be a great time to sit down with him at a family gathering and provide him the Gospel, for example.  Get all the facts, listen to all sides and then make wise decisions.  Of course, do this in Prayer to our Lord and ask Him for guidance. 

You have free will, but the Lord will give you advice – like our parents gave us when we were younger.  Sometimes the Lord may not give us a clear answer and we must make that decision based on the Wisdom He has given us, though the Bible and through the Spirit.  Sometimes we make decisions that we later must adjust as we gain more knowledge, sometimes the experience of what happens when a decision is not totally accurate is part of gaining knowledge, making mistakes that we won’t repeat. 

The one thing we Christians do know is our Lord is with us, that He will not forget or forsake us, and that His Wisdom ultimately triumphs.  Include Him, make decisions based on Him and His Word, and where it is gray or the Lord does not provide a clear answer, go forward in Faith that He has equipped you to make the right decisions.